Emerging Victorious

So, there's a reason I haven't written in some time.   The life of a pathology resident is usually reasonable and governed by sane, achievable goals.   If we don't always lead an entirely 8:00-5:00 existence, it's still a job lived during fairly acceptable hours.   And while at work, we usually find time to wander into research projects and "hey, let's write up that case" from time to time and actually complete this.   I'm about halfway through, and really starting to catch on, I think.
  
   My last four weeks, however, had every potential for utter failure.   I was assigned to Surgical Pathology at the Big House, *Christian Denomination* Hospital, which is our toughest rotation.   I was assigned there with one other resident, also in my year...when usually there are three of us.   The attending pathologists were also short-handed due to academic meetings/talks/etc.   Many were covering as many as four services (when they usually cover one or two) simultaneously and were being driven off their feet with frozen sections.   We're approaching the end of the academic year, when one of my fellow residents will be transferring programs out of here, and another (with whom I was assigned on this rotation) will likely be leaving as well. I was assigned to give a noon conference hourlong presentation on pediatric kidney tumors one day and had to trade two weeks of call with other residents.   One of our attendings had a protégée observer from Vietnam spending time in the department and I adopted her as my personal student/assistant for much of the month.   Outside of work, it was Holy Week, when my husband and I sang for Mass five days out of seven, and the *Hometown* Community Chorale was preparing two intense pieces for a concert.  

   Despite all this, I may have actually had my best surgical path month to date.   I'm getting faster and more intuitive in the gross room.   My diagnoses and dictation are getting vastly more confident, and I'm previewing more effectively in the mornings.   I got a decent handle on teaching while guiding the observer, and even took her out to lunch one day.   I actually made it to Mass every time during Holy Week (grossed fast enough to get out...way more efficient than I usually am).    I was still quite stressed at the end, but I emerged victorious.   I am still claiming to anyone who asks that this is the best medical specialty there is.  

      I'm looking to the future, my two senior years, with more enthusiasm every day.   On my worst surgical path days, I was beating myself up mentally for the one time all month I flat out missed obvious cancer, thinking "I could get sued for this in real life." But I know I'm where I need to be in diagnostic skill right now.   I did really well on my in-service exam and I can feel myself heading into a very rapid learning phase.   Every day I soak in much more than I used to because the basics finally make sense and I have a framework.  

    Honestly, it feels good to take on a serious challenge and to emerge victorious.   Residency started out as the hardest thing I've ever had to do and life in pediatrics didn't give me much confidence in my ability to stand up to true challenge.   But now I'm almost a PGY-3 for the first time ever and looking toward a full on career in this and I'm rising to it.  

Am I Cool Enough for Your Book Club?

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a youngish professional woman who has been married for over five years with only a dog to show for it must be in want of a book club.   If said woman is the 746,998th person to blatantly twist the only Austen line most people remember until it cries for purposes of amusing her own tiny public, this only underscores her need of book club.   (BTW, I am a librarian and/or a historian in another life.   But not a grammarian.   Diagram that last sentence 1800s schoolhouse style to see if it actually works grammatically, because I'm curious.)

Anyway, I checked out meetup.com this evening looking for an interesting new activity group, seeing as how I obviously need yet another vague obligation in my life.   The fact that the people I care about most, other than my husband, live in other states and have done since I left Milwaukee at a minimum, has impressed itself on my mind, and I'm looking for an interesting new friend or two.   With a comical pseudo-desperation reminiscent of some of my friends in their search for romance.  

Coworkers, you say?   They are, indeed, fine people and I consider them friends.   But as far as I can tell from the general vibe, we are not "hey, let's go watch a movie or do ANYTHING outside of work more than twice a year" friends.   The one I get along best with of all of them is a guy, unmarried, not exactly my age.   To ask him to join me for some sort of extra-employment activity would be massively awkward.   The girls are great but many of them have kids and/or cases of workaholism that prevent their accepting any invitation to hang out. I have, oddly enough, met more good friends through my husband's hobbies than through my own.   Knitting Guild is a wonderful place to meet fine, upstanding knitters who are generally too different in their life circumstances to really become close friends.  Same with choir, substituting "singers."

In short, I came up with the idea of trying out a different kind of activity, just to see if it would make a difference.   The activity sounds perfect for me: a local book club.   The problem: I adore books and love to chat about them.   I've just never done this before and don't know if I should expect to be stared down for any non-lofty contribution or should expect to meet a group of people who have read five pages of a book and feel like having a glass of wine.   I'm not sure if it'll be full of older people or some who might actually be my age.   What is it those young professional types too old for "clubbin'" do for fun these days? 

I signed up for the group online, just to at least see the details of meetings and such.   In order to do so, I was hit with a signup questionnaire from the group which was surprising detailed and appeared to be aiming at weeding those not serious about the process.   Favorite book, ok, sure.   "Tell us about yourself," is fine.   But things like how I might handle strong opinions I don't share?   Whoo,   You could, um, you know...ask me that when I show up for the first time.   I am currently waiting for membership approval and trying to prepare for what is apparently going to be a really fun, sorority rush-like screening process.  I threw as much witty banter as I could in tiny Internet questionnaire boxes.   Wish me luck :).

The Dishes

    So, I decided  that a rather nifty challenge for myself, to battle the deadly sin of Sloth, would be to get the dirty dishes done every day at a minimum for Lent.   Some science has indicated that it takes approximately thirty days to form a habit and this is a habit I would like to cement.   I do the dishes on a regular enough basis, but that doesn't always mean every single day.   I'll admit it.   To bar myself from the luxury of not doing dishes some evenings would be to, somehow, make myself a better person.   

   In response to this plan, I have received the following reactions: 1) You're my kind of girl! (from a person who thought I meant I was giving up dishes, in the sense of NOT doing them, ever), 2) that's not...um...spiritual (from my brother and my husband), and 3) That sounds like a good idea.   I understand why it doesn't sound "spiritual" but I submit that this has been supplemented by some morning and night prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours, and is also helping to improve my relationship with the virtue of perseverance and loosen my connection to sloth.  

     I do generally get things done and show up to work when required, even adding projects to my schedule.   However, I'm inordinately capable of doing things (such as blogging, reading, knitting, and watching British accents on the telly) that do not maintain my home in an immaculate state. I have read blogs and statements by priests who suggest that a surprisingly small number of their well fed, well entertained American parishioners accuse themselves of sloth and gluttony in the confessional.   Clearly, this is not meant to break the confessional seal, but to point out that it is very possible for certain sins to be so ingrained in the way we live that our consciences stay silent.   This Lent, I'm trying to do a very small thing to re-train my conscience and to recognize that even an act as small as doing the dishes so my husband doesn't have to is an act of service and self-giving.    

I just might be back...

     Well hello everyone....long time no, uh, see?   Does anyone still blog anymore in 2014?   Am I talking to myself?   I'll presume so and just keep it moving forward.    So, quite clearly, a whole lot of crap has gone down since I last committed my immortal thoughts to the Internet.   I'm this close...
   

Thanks, vinelandrotary.com!



   ...to being halfway done with pathology residency and I have knit a whole whole lot of things in the slightly more abundant free time I have now.   I live in a new city and have been very busy working and not making a particularly large number of fabulous new friends.   I have convinced my very good friend, by virtue of the Shangri-La style bliss my new residency has given me, that she ought to do the very same thing and ditch pediatrics for path, and she just matched.  *sinister laugh as I think about my most recent call weeks*
    
     What am I knitting right now that you might conceivably care about?   Baby things!   Woo!  Uh...wait...they aren't for me.   Two of my bestest friends are about to make me an honorary Auntie in May, one week apart, and thus the Knits begin.  I'll share pics after the gifts are opened so as not to ruin the surprise in case they read this somehow.   I've begun to improvise-"design" about half of what I do and so one of the two items is my own brainchild.   I'm behind my friend Crafty Doctor in this regard, but I like to think that this shows some progress in my skills, anyway.   I improvised a hat for my mother recently, to no little critical acclaim, and I'm looking forward to continuing in this path.   I've been knitting in this semi-serious way for about four years, so by the time I hit anything like the Yarn Harlot's experience, who knows what I'll be capable of.  

    I'm excited to be able to get back to writing.   I have a lot of things to talk about  from the recent past if "current events" ever get too boring, and I'm hoping to be fairly loose on the content.   Knitting, yes, but other passions will get their time in the spotlight.   Stay tuned for fun things like:
 - Why anything on television involving British accents and period costumes MUST BE watched. 
 - Why pathology is the greatest specialty no medical student has ever considered.
 - What it's like to be on a real hospital ethics committee.
 - Why I'm pretty sure my dad means it when he says he wants to start his own "think tank" and why I MUST be involved when it happens.
  Of course, it may be nearly impossible to write here without getting into what I think of as the good stuff...my politics, my religion.   Who knows.   Watch this space.