So, there's a reason I haven't written in some time. The life of a pathology resident is usually reasonable and governed by sane, achievable goals. If we don't always lead an entirely 8:00-5:00 existence, it's still a job lived during fairly acceptable hours. And while at work, we usually find time to wander into research projects and "hey, let's write up that case" from time to time and actually complete this. I'm about halfway through, and really starting to catch on, I think.
My last four weeks, however, had every potential for utter failure. I was assigned to Surgical Pathology at the Big House, *Christian Denomination* Hospital, which is our toughest rotation. I was assigned there with one other resident, also in my year...when usually there are three of us. The attending pathologists were also short-handed due to academic meetings/talks/etc. Many were covering as many as four services (when they usually cover one or two) simultaneously and were being driven off their feet with frozen sections. We're approaching the end of the academic year, when one of my fellow residents will be transferring programs out of here, and another (with whom I was assigned on this rotation) will likely be leaving as well. I was assigned to give a noon conference hourlong presentation on pediatric kidney tumors one day and had to trade two weeks of call with other residents. One of our attendings had a protégée observer from Vietnam spending time in the department and I adopted her as my personal student/assistant for much of the month. Outside of work, it was Holy Week, when my husband and I sang for Mass five days out of seven, and the *Hometown* Community Chorale was preparing two intense pieces for a concert.
Despite all this, I may have actually had my best surgical path month to date. I'm getting faster and more intuitive in the gross room. My diagnoses and dictation are getting vastly more confident, and I'm previewing more effectively in the mornings. I got a decent handle on teaching while guiding the observer, and even took her out to lunch one day. I actually made it to Mass every time during Holy Week (grossed fast enough to get out...way more efficient than I usually am). I was still quite stressed at the end, but I emerged victorious. I am still claiming to anyone who asks that this is the best medical specialty there is.
I'm looking to the future, my two senior years, with more enthusiasm every day. On my worst surgical path days, I was beating myself up mentally for the one time all month I flat out missed obvious cancer, thinking "I could get sued for this in real life." But I know I'm where I need to be in diagnostic skill right now. I did really well on my in-service exam and I can feel myself heading into a very rapid learning phase. Every day I soak in much more than I used to because the basics finally make sense and I have a framework.
Honestly, it feels good to take on a serious challenge and to emerge victorious. Residency started out as the hardest thing I've ever had to do and life in pediatrics didn't give me much confidence in my ability to stand up to true challenge. But now I'm almost a PGY-3 for the first time ever and looking toward a full on career in this and I'm rising to it.
